I have been thinking today about what I was going to say in this e-mail and praying about what God wanted me to share. I know I sent out one update this week already, but I thought another one would be appropriate.
I do nothing extraordinary. I do nothing noble. I do nothing great… on my own. I need God to do anything worth writing on this e-mail. Why waste thirty something people’s time to say what I have done. I’m not important when you think that there are 6.6 billion people in the world. Humbling, am I right? It puts things in perspective.
I accidentally put a staff member on my weekly e-mail list. When I was confronted about why the whole staff here at I360 doesn’t get the e-mails. I tried to brush it off and let it pass. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this is not about me. This is about what the Lord is doing through me along with every other student at Impact. So, I decided to humble myself and let God shine through something that I truly enjoy doing, writing. Therefore, I am trying to be very conscious to make sure that my e-mails are about God getting the glory, not me.
I want to share with you one experience that I have been challenged to reflect on and write a paper on; the backpacking trip I went on almost two weeks ago. Here is an excerpt from my reflections:
“I was informed that I would be dropped off in the woods and left alone… for five hours. I had heard rumors that the leaders were going to let us practice solitude in the woods for a couple of hours. Therefore, when David said that we would be in the woods for five hours alone, I was shocked. Looking at my watch, I realized that it would get dark while I was alone in the woods. This immediately frightened me and as we began tracking through the woods, one by one we were dropped off and I began to get a little nervous. I was finally dropped off and watched the rest of the group continue on their journey. I got on my knees and asked the Lord to teach me something new about Him along with myself. I have always said that I liked time to myself, but after about an hour and a half, I quickly realized that I hate it. After about two hours of looking around, admiring God’s creation despite some of my fears; my head began to hurt, my legs were scratched up from briers, I felt nauseous, my back was sore, there were bugs everywhere, and the sun was beginning to set. I began to think of Jesus dying on the cross for me. I was humiliated at the fact that I couldn’t sit in the woods for five hours alone with a couple of cuts on my legs. I saw a light coming and I knew it had to be a leader. When Trent came up, I began to cry because of the realization that someone is here that has the capability of saving me, yet they want me to stay there alone for two more hours in the dark. This realization frustrated me and humbled me all at the same time. As I watched Trent walk away, I thought of God turning His back on Jesus while He was dying on the cross for something He did not do. Just when I thought Trent was long gone, I saw the beam of light again. It was Trent coming with Ashley to “save me” because I could not save myself from this fear. Ashley sat with me for the next two hours and comforted me when I was scared, cold, and sick. It was a picture of Jesus like I had never seen before and don’t think I was clearly able to see until after the adventure module was over.”