I was ready to flip a table, but not because I was angry. I was shocked at how amazing reality is.
Throughout my life, I had tried to check every box on the Christian list. As the oldest son of a youth pastor, I felt pressure to be the kind of person God delights in. I had striven to produce the virtues God commands us to possess. I had labored to pray and study the Bible, and I had failed time after time. Entering Fellows with this weight, I began forming habits around different spiritual disciplines, especially Bible reading and study. But I still questioned why I was not joyful, compassionate, or loving. I assumed that the only solution was to try harder. Then I was faced with the astonishing reality of the spiritual disciplines.
The herald of beautiful truth was a verse from Deuteronomy, quoted in an unassuming article titled The Importance of Christian Disciplines by John Ortberg. I was sitting outside in a comfortable chair with my computer on a small table in front of me. My class would take a quiz on the article the following day. As I highlighted the article, I came across a brief description of the Feast of Tabernacles, an event celebrated by the Israelites in the Old Testament. Deuteronomy 14:26 gives the Israelites these instructions regarding the feast: “Use the silver to buy whatever you like: cattle, sheep, wine or other fermented drink, or anything you wish. Then you and your household shall eat there in the presence of the Lord your God and rejoice.” Ortberg went on to argue, “Those feasts and celebrations are about training for joy.” I was shocked.
I did not have to try harder. God had already given me a way to produce His fruit.
A friend had told me that during his Fellows year, there came a moment when he finally understood the Gospel, and he wanted to flip a table because no one had explained the true, astonishing, life-changing nature of the Gospel to him before. When I read Ortberg’s article, I knew that I was having my ‘flip-the-table moment’. God had already been teaching me for years that the Christian life is not about checking boxes. The reason we produce the fruit of the Spirit is out of gratitude for His sacrifice for us. I now finally understand why we specifically do the spiritual disciplines.
As we had learned in class earlier that day, a life that produces the fruit of the Spirit is the best life. The spiritual disciplines are not a task to complete in addition to the fruit of the Spirit, but a means God graciously gives us so that we can produce the fruit of the Spirit. So now I study the Bible to be in awe of God. I seek to serve others to grow in love.
Like the Israelites, I can practice celebration to cultivate joy.
The ‘whys’ of the spiritual disciplines had finally been unveiled for me. The truth was astounding.
Silas Drury, Class of 2027
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